arianamay

im growing up

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 02:06:37 GMT

the days have been going by faster, people always have warned me of this once you turn a certain age the days fly by.
It's like how i always wanted it to be
im flying by nothings so dramatic
my life is never over theres just another problem that ive been well prepared through my hard life to concur.

guess whos back!/

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 01:27:12 GMT

GUESS WHOS BACK GUESS WHOS BACK
Its your favorite singa of crack
the one and the only
KAN S A S
my life has been a mess
i dropped my rhymes
i went through hard times
aint had no times fo my raps or my fans
put first all my own plans
but now im back and im ready to jam
yo sirs yo ma'ams
listen to this thang
this negro slang
coming from this little white girl
my teeth be shiny pearls
spitting my beats eating my red beets
for breakfast lunch and dinner
trying to be thinna
i know you fellers missed me
you hear my voice you scream yippie!
so listen to me yall
im back im back
listen to me yall listen to my soundtrack!

what i said yesterday

Sat, 08 Sep 2007 14:15:53 GMT

was stupid. Im just a jealous prick and I'll never be satisfied with myself. As humiliating as it is I really wish someone did find some kind of irreplacable worth in me. Ive started to read up on my phsycology books again since they threw me out of foods. I guess my dreams of becoming a chef are gone. Now I'm back in drama and I'm happy because theres a new teacher, i hated the other teacher. She told me I was on drugs all the time, she told me to stop wearing a mask ( i dont get it?), and she was just such an asshole to me and made me cry. So now there is a new teacher and thats good maybe I'll be an actor. Who the hell knows I dont even know why I talk about this stuff. I do change my mind about what I want to be everyday but I would really like to decide. It's just that new things keep coming up every day maybe I'll take foods next year? maybe I dont know, if I can take phsycology I'm gonna take that. It's good to know anyways. Ive been learning a lot of french. I think I'm alright at it, its fun all my classes are easy. I found some good music to listen to my favorite right now is Of Montreal. I really wish my stepdad would fix my record player. I have weird dreams and I should probably call Nick. I have to clean and stuff. I dont feel like it though my fingers are itchy and my lungs are poisoned from all the chemicals. I bathed my dog, the tub, and the sink. I still need to do the toilet and my room ? ugh im so tired though. I should probably do laundry too I have nothing to wear.

its friday im in love

Sat, 08 Sep 2007 00:26:34 GMT

Today was a good day like most of the past weeks have been. Today is friday, we had a short week because of labor day. Im so glad to be free from school for a couple of days. I was going to go to the football game after school, I changed my mind and me and my mom went to the thrift store. I bought a record player
Its a big antique one really big, like the siz of a dresser. Its not working though, I was so excited about it too. I think my stepdad is going to try to fix it. It was 25 dollars, if this greek joint that i applied at hires me ill start saving up money for a nice one i guess. I like the antique styles but maybe i can find a new one with an antique look. I dont think Im supposed to be in this period of time but of course I'm going to make the best of it. Just because Record players arent used much anymore doesnt mean I cant make my own little world of tons of different decades. If it gets fixed though I'll be glad I have 7 days to make it work, and then i can return it and get my money back if it doesnt work. So im exhausted, i dont know why but I'm really glad the day is almost over. You know theres this guy I've known for an awfully long time named Steven. He's a sweet guy, hes funny and he loves me. It feels so strange to not having a boy want me just so he could use me, hes liked me for a long while now. I like that of him but for now on I want to start getting to know people before I get myself into a relationship I might want to get out of. I need to know details now, I guess I used to be all "all you need is love" but that wasnt love I guess. I dont want to change who anyone is we wouldnt talk about the same music because we dont listen to the same music. I wonder what he thinks about things, the world and stuff. Maybe I'll ask him on a date and we'll have some intense conversations. I'm so glad hes back in my life, he waits for me when school's over. Catelyn is always getting in my way of course everyone prefers her over me, Im always second, third, fourth or maybe even higher in the places. OOh I'm just unwanted. I think I'll find my soulmate when I find someone that doesnt see a thing in Catelyn worth liking. I'd hate to say that but she hurts me so bad actually people hurt me so bad by treating me like dirt. I just want someone to find some worth in me. Something unique or special. Maybe im just a typical person. I'd hate to be typical